Giải chi tiết đề thi thật IELTS Writing 2024 – Từ Band 6.0 đến 8.5

Task 2: Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Band 6.0 – 6.5 Version:

In recent years, there has been an increasing concern about health problems caused by pollution and poor housing conditions. Some people argue that governments should focus on these areas to reduce illness and disease. I agree that addressing environmental pollution and housing issues can help, but I believe other factors are also important.

Firstly, environmental pollution, such as air and water pollution, has been linked to many health issues, including respiratory problems, asthma, and even cancer. By reducing pollution, governments can improve public health. For example, introducing stricter regulations on industries to lower emissions or improving public transportation can lead to cleaner air, which could prevent some health problems.

Secondly, poor housing conditions also play a role in people’s health. Many people live in overcrowded or poorly ventilated houses, which can lead to the spread of diseases. Improving housing conditions, such as ensuring better sanitation, could help prevent illnesses. For instance, building affordable housing and renovating old buildings can provide a healthier living environment.

However, it is important to remember that reducing pollution and improving housing alone may not be enough to prevent all diseases. Other factors like access to healthcare, education about hygiene, and promoting healthy lifestyles are also essential in preventing illnesses.

In conclusion, while it is crucial for governments to address pollution and housing issues to prevent illness, other measures, such as healthcare and public awareness, should not be ignored.

(250 words)


Band 7.0 – 7.5 Version:

There is growing debate over the role of environmental pollution and poor housing in the spread of illness and disease, with some arguing that government efforts should be focused on these areas. While I agree that these factors are significant, I believe that a comprehensive approach that addresses multiple causes of illness is necessary.

On the one hand, environmental pollution, particularly air and water pollution, is known to contribute to various health conditions, such as asthma, bronchitis, and cardiovascular diseases. Governments should undoubtedly prioritize reducing pollution by implementing stricter environmental laws and promoting green energy sources. For instance, encouraging the use of electric vehicles and regulating industrial emissions could significantly improve air quality, thereby reducing the incidence of respiratory diseases.

Similarly, housing conditions have a direct impact on health. Overcrowded living spaces, poor ventilation, and lack of proper sanitation can facilitate the spread of infectious diseases and lead to chronic health problems. By focusing on providing affordable, well-ventilated housing, governments could reduce health risks for vulnerable populations. Furthermore, improving access to clean water and proper waste disposal systems would help prevent water-borne diseases.

However, while these measures are important, they alone will not prevent all illnesses. Access to quality healthcare, public health campaigns, and promoting healthy lifestyles are equally critical. Governments should also invest in healthcare infrastructure and education to ensure citizens are well-informed about personal hygiene and disease prevention.

In conclusion, while tackling environmental pollution and housing issues is essential, a broader approach that includes healthcare and education is necessary to effectively prevent illness and disease.

(265 words)


Band 8.0 – 8.5 Version:

There is no doubt that environmental pollution and inadequate housing are major contributors to public health issues, prompting some to suggest that governments should focus their efforts on these areas to prevent illness. While I agree that addressing these factors is crucial, I also believe that a more holistic approach is needed to effectively combat disease.

Environmental pollution, particularly air and water contamination, is one of the primary causes of respiratory conditions, cardiovascular disease, and even certain cancers. Governments should prioritize reducing pollution levels by enforcing strict environmental regulations on industries, investing in renewable energy, and promoting eco-friendly urban planning. For example, reducing vehicle emissions by encouraging public transportation and developing cleaner energy alternatives could have a significant positive impact on public health by lowering the prevalence of air-borne diseases.

Equally important is the issue of housing. Poor living conditions, such as overcrowding, lack of proper sanitation, and inadequate ventilation, create an environment where infectious diseases can thrive. Governments should focus on improving housing infrastructure, ensuring access to basic utilities, and providing affordable housing solutions. Implementing building codes that mandate proper ventilation and sanitation would help prevent diseases like tuberculosis and reduce the spread of other communicable diseases.

Nevertheless, while these factors are important, they do not address the full spectrum of disease prevention. Governments must also invest in healthcare services, promote healthy lifestyles, and implement public health campaigns to raise awareness about disease prevention. Without addressing issues such as access to healthcare and public education on hygiene, the efforts to reduce pollution and improve housing will be incomplete.

In conclusion, while tackling environmental pollution and housing problems is essential in preventing illness, governments must adopt a broader strategy that includes healthcare, public education, and lifestyle changes to achieve comprehensive disease prevention.

(280 words)


Breakdown of Differences:

Band 6.0 – 6.5:

  • Structure: The structure is straightforward, with basic ideas presented. There is some explanation, but the arguments are not deeply explored.
  • Vocabulary: Vocabulary is simple and functional, such as “health problems,” “pollution,” and “poor housing conditions.” The range of vocabulary is limited.
  • Grammar: Mostly basic sentence structures are used with some simple complex sentences. There are fewer attempts at using more sophisticated grammar structures.
  • Coherence: The essay flows logically, but transitions between ideas are minimal. Simple connectors like “for example” and “secondly” are used.

Band 7.0 – 7.5:

  • Structure: The argument is better developed with clear reasoning. Each point is expanded upon with examples. Ideas are well-organized, and the essay shows a higher degree of cohesion.
  • Vocabulary: There is a wider range of vocabulary, with phrases like “stricter environmental laws” and “facilitate the spread of diseases.” Vocabulary is more precise and varied.
  • Grammar: The use of more complex sentence structures, such as subordinate clauses and conditional sentences, shows a good command of grammar. There are few, if any, errors.
  • Coherence: The flow of ideas is smoother, and cohesive devices are used more effectively. More advanced linking phrases are used, such as “on the one hand” and “equally important.”

Band 8.0 – 8.5:

  • Structure: The essay is more sophisticated and includes a thorough discussion of the topic. Arguments are well-developed with detailed examples and analysis.
  • Vocabulary: The range of vocabulary is broader and more academic, including terms like “urban planning,” “cardiovascular disease,” and “eco-friendly.” The language is more precise and nuanced.
  • Grammar: Complex grammar structures, including passive voice and relative clauses, are used effectively. The grammar is accurate with no major mistakes, and sentence structure is varied.
  • Coherence: The essay flows naturally, with advanced cohesive devices like “nevertheless” and “equally important.” The connections between ideas are seamless, and the argument is coherent throughout.

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