Giải chi tiết đề thi thật IELTS Writing 2024 – Từ Band 6.0 đến 8.5
Task 2: Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and
determination, while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Version 1: Band 6.0-6.5
Many people believe that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that factors like money and appearance are more important. Both views have their own merits, and this essay will discuss both perspectives before giving my opinion.
On one hand, it is often said that hard work and determination are key ingredients to success. For example, many famous people like athletes or entrepreneurs reached their goals by working hard and not giving up when they faced difficulties. In addition, determination helps people stay focused on their dreams and goals, even when the road is challenging. People who work hard usually achieve more because they put in more effort and time compared to others.
On the other hand, some argue that success depends more on external factors such as money and appearance. Having money can open many doors and create more opportunities, like attending better schools or getting high-quality training. In some cases, people who are attractive or well-dressed can make a better impression and find it easier to succeed in their careers. For instance, in certain industries like fashion or entertainment, appearance can play a big role in success.
In conclusion, while money and appearance may help in certain situations, I believe that hard work and determination are more important in achieving long-term success. Hard work and a strong will can overcome many obstacles, and these qualities are essential for building a successful career or life.
(251 words)
Version 2: Band 7.0-7.5
There is a common debate about whether success in life comes from hard work and determination, or if external factors like money and appearance play a more significant role. Both perspectives have valid points, and this essay will examine both views before presenting my opinion.
On one side, many people believe that hard work and determination are the key factors behind achieving success. They argue that success stories of many renowned figures—such as athletes, businesspeople, and scientists—prove that persistent effort and dedication can lead to remarkable achievements. For example, athletes train for years, overcoming numerous setbacks, in order to reach their peak performance. Similarly, business owners often face financial or strategic challenges but are able to thrive through perseverance. Therefore, the ability to work tirelessly and remain determined is seen as fundamental to success.
Conversely, others claim that money and physical appearance are more critical factors in determining success. Having financial resources can provide access to better education, networking opportunities, and investments that can lead to greater success. Additionally, people who are physically attractive or have a pleasing appearance might have an advantage in certain professions like modeling or media-related jobs. These individuals may find it easier to achieve success because they fit societal standards of beauty, which may give them a head start in their careers.
In my opinion, while money and appearance may have an impact on success in specific industries, hard work and determination are far more important. A person who works hard and remains dedicated will generally surpass those who rely solely on external advantages. True success, in my view, is more sustainable when it is built on perseverance and commitment.
(275 words)
Version 3: Band 8.0-8.5
The debate surrounding the factors that contribute most to success has long been contested. While some argue that success stems from hard work and determination, others contend that factors such as wealth and appearance are more influential. Both perspectives are valid, and in this essay, I will analyze both views before presenting my opinion.
Proponents of hard work and determination believe these qualities are fundamental to success. They argue that individuals who persevere through hardships and remain focused on their goals are more likely to achieve success. For instance, athletes who undergo rigorous training and endure repeated failures ultimately triumph through sheer determination. Similarly, entrepreneurs who persist despite numerous setbacks often end up building successful businesses. Hard work, they argue, is a powerful equalizer that allows individuals from various backgrounds to achieve their aspirations, regardless of external factors.
On the other hand, some people believe that wealth and appearance play a pivotal role in determining success. Money provides access to resources such as high-quality education, advanced training, and valuable networks, all of which can accelerate an individual’s path to success. Additionally, in industries like entertainment, media, and fashion, physical appearance can be a significant asset. Attractive individuals are often afforded more opportunities and visibility, which can boost their careers. Furthermore, people from affluent backgrounds may have a head start in life, as financial security allows them to take risks and invest in their futures.
In conclusion, while wealth and appearance may offer certain advantages, I believe that hard work and determination are the key drivers of long-term success. While external factors may provide a temporary boost, it is perseverance and a strong work ethic that ultimately enable individuals to overcome challenges and achieve sustained success.
(278 words)
Detailed Breakdown of Differences:
- Vocabulary:
- Band 6.0-6.5: Simple vocabulary, with phrases like “key ingredients,” “famous people,” and “challenges.”
- Band 7.0-7.5: More varied vocabulary such as “renowned figures,” “persistent effort,” and “strategic challenges.”
- Band 8.0-8.5: Even more sophisticated vocabulary like “fundamental to success,” “a powerful equalizer,” “accelerate an individual’s path.”
- Sentence Structure:
- Band 6.0-6.5: Simple sentences with basic connectors like “and,” “while,” “because.”
- Band 7.0-7.5: More complex sentences with subordinate clauses and a variety of sentence structures.
- Band 8.0-8.5: Greater complexity in sentence structures, including relative clauses, conditionals, and participial phrases.
- Cohesion and Coherence:
- Band 6.0-6.5: Basic transitions such as “on one hand” and “in conclusion.”
- Band 7.0-7.5: Better use of linking words like “similarly,” “therefore,” “conversely,” and “moreover.”
- Band 8.0-8.5: Highly effective use of cohesive devices like “proponents of,” “they argue,” “on the other hand,” and “in industries such as.”
- Comparisons and Depth of Analysis:
- Band 6.0-6.5: Basic comparison of the two views, with limited depth of analysis.
- Band 7.0-7.5: More detailed analysis, with concrete examples of how both factors can contribute to success.
- Band 8.0-8.5: In-depth analysis with strong comparisons and nuanced arguments that examine both sides thoroughly.
- Grammatical Range:
- Band 6.0-6.5: Basic grammar, mostly limited to simple past and present tenses.
- Band 7.0-7.5: Greater variety in grammatical structures, including conditionals and relative clauses.
- Band 8.0-8.5: Extensive grammatical range with complex tenses, passive voice, and advanced clauses.
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