Giải chi tiết đề thi thật IELTS Writing 2024 – Từ Band 6.0 đến 8.5

Task 2: In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Band 6.0-6.5 Version:

In some countries, more parents are deciding to educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. While home education offers some benefits, there are also several drawbacks to consider.

One of the main advantages of home schooling is the flexibility it provides. Parents can design a curriculum that suits their child’s learning pace and style, which may not be possible in a traditional school environment. Additionally, home education can offer a safe learning space free from bullying, which is a problem in some schools.

However, there are significant disadvantages to home schooling. One of the biggest issues is the lack of social interaction. Children who are educated at home may miss out on the chance to build relationships with their peers, which can affect their social development. Schools provide opportunities for teamwork and friendships, which are important life skills.

Another disadvantage is the quality of education. While some parents may be qualified to teach certain subjects, they may lack expertise in others. This can lead to gaps in the child’s education. Schools have trained teachers who specialize in different subjects, ensuring a well-rounded education for students.

In conclusion, while home education can be beneficial in certain situations, the disadvantages, such as limited social interaction and potential gaps in knowledge, often outweigh the advantages. Therefore, I believe that traditional schooling remains the better option for most children.

Band 7.0-7.5 Version:

In some countries, a growing number of parents are opting to homeschool their children instead of sending them to traditional schools. While there are several benefits associated with home education, it is important to consider the potential downsides as well.

One of the key advantages of homeschooling is that it allows for a personalized approach to education. Parents can tailor the curriculum to meet the individual needs of their child, offering more flexibility in terms of pacing and content. For children with special learning needs or those who struggle in the conventional school system, this can be a significant advantage. Additionally, homeschooling provides a safe environment where children can focus on learning without the distractions or negative influences they might encounter at school.

However, homeschooling also presents certain challenges. A major drawback is the lack of socialization. In a traditional school setting, children interact with peers and learn valuable social skills, such as teamwork and conflict resolution. Homeschooled children, on the other hand, may have fewer opportunities to engage with their peers on a regular basis, which could hinder their social development.

Furthermore, the quality of home education can be variable. While some parents may excel at teaching certain subjects, they may lack the qualifications or resources to provide comprehensive instruction across all areas of the curriculum. In contrast, schools employ specialized teachers who are trained in specific subjects, ensuring a more balanced and thorough education.

In conclusion, while homeschooling offers certain benefits, such as flexibility and a safer learning environment, the disadvantages, particularly regarding social development and educational quality, tend to outweigh the advantages for most students.

Band 8.0-8.5 Version:

In recent years, an increasing number of parents in certain countries have chosen to homeschool their children, rather than sending them to traditional schools. While home education offers certain advantages, there are also significant drawbacks that must be carefully considered.

One of the primary benefits of homeschooling is the ability to provide a highly individualized education. Parents can adapt the curriculum to suit their child’s specific learning style, pace, and interests, which may be difficult to achieve in a classroom setting. For children who struggle in conventional educational environments, homeschooling can offer a more supportive and tailored learning experience. Additionally, homeschooling can shield children from negative social influences, such as bullying or peer pressure, that are often present in schools.

Despite these advantages, homeschooling also presents notable disadvantages, particularly in terms of social development. Schools play a crucial role in fostering social interaction, teaching children how to collaborate, communicate, and build relationships with their peers. Homeschooled children may miss out on these valuable experiences, which could impact their ability to navigate social situations later in life. While some parents attempt to compensate by involving their children in extracurricular activities, these experiences are often not as consistent or structured as those provided by schools.

Another significant issue is the potential for gaps in the child’s education. While parents may be knowledgeable in certain subjects, they may lack the expertise required to teach a comprehensive and balanced curriculum. In contrast, traditional schools employ specialized teachers who are trained in specific academic areas, ensuring that students receive a well-rounded education.

In conclusion, although homeschooling can offer a customized learning environment and protection from negative influences, the disadvantages, particularly in terms of socialization and academic breadth, generally outweigh the benefits for most children.

Let’s break down the key differences between the three versions of the IELTS Task 2 essay, focusing on what makes each version align with the respective score bands.

Band 6.0-6.5 Version Breakdown:

1. Vocabulary:

  • Simple vocabulary: The essay uses basic vocabulary and does not include many complex or advanced words. For example, words like “benefits,” “drawbacks,” and “problems” are straightforward.
  • Limited paraphrasing: The writer repeats some words and phrases without varying them. For example, “home education” and “homeschooling” are repeated without much rewording.

2. Sentence structure:

  • Simple and compound sentences: The writer mainly uses simple and compound sentences, with occasional attempts at complex sentences. For instance, “Parents can design a curriculum that suits their child’s learning pace” is a straightforward sentence. However, there are few attempts at more complex structures that require better control over grammar.
  • Limited use of linking words: The linking words are basic, such as “However” and “In conclusion.” There is little variety in the connectors used.

3. Task Achievement:

  • Addressing both sides: The essay successfully addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling, but the analysis is somewhat limited and lacks depth.
  • Fewer details and examples: The points made are general and lack specific examples or deeper elaboration. For instance, the issue of “lack of social interaction” is mentioned but not explored with detailed examples.

4. Coherence and Cohesion:

  • Basic organization: The essay has clear paragraphs, but the transitions between ideas are simple and sometimes abrupt. The points are logically ordered, but the flow is somewhat mechanical.
  • Repetition of ideas: There is some repetition of similar ideas, which is common in lower bands. For example, the concept of social interaction is mentioned multiple times without much elaboration.

5. Grammar:

  • Adequate grammar control: There are a few minor grammar mistakes, but the sentences are generally grammatically correct. The sentence structures are not overly ambitious, so the risk of errors is lower.

Band 7.0-7.5 Version Breakdown:

1. Vocabulary:

  • More varied vocabulary: This version demonstrates a broader range of vocabulary, such as “personalized approach,” “valuable social skills,” and “comprehensive instruction.” The writer shows some flexibility in using different words to express similar ideas.
  • Better paraphrasing: Synonyms and rephrasing are used more effectively. For example, instead of repeating “home education” throughout, phrases like “personalized approach” and “homeschooling” are used interchangeably.

2. Sentence structure:

  • More complex sentences: The writer uses a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound-complex sentences. For instance, “Parents can tailor the curriculum to meet the individual needs of their child, offering more flexibility in terms of pacing and content.” These more complex structures help to increase fluency and demonstrate a stronger command of grammar.
  • Varied linking words: There is more variety in the use of cohesive devices. Words like “In contrast” and “On the other hand” add complexity to the essay’s structure, improving its overall cohesion.

3. Task Achievement:

  • More developed arguments: The writer goes into more detail when discussing the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling. For instance, the socialization problem is explained further with terms like “teamwork” and “conflict resolution.”
  • Balanced analysis: The essay presents a more balanced view, giving both the advantages and disadvantages nearly equal weight, and the points are explored with more depth than in the 6.0-6.5 version.

4. Coherence and Cohesion:

  • Better flow between ideas: The essay has clearer transitions between ideas, and the writer connects paragraphs more smoothly. For example, the introduction of each new idea builds logically on the previous one, with better use of transition phrases.
  • Better use of referencing: The use of pronouns and synonyms to avoid repetition is more consistent, which helps the essay flow better and improves readability.

5. Grammar:

  • More complex grammar: The essay features a wider range of grammatical structures and more ambitious sentence forms. There may be occasional grammar errors, but they do not impede understanding, and the risk is balanced by the greater complexity.

Band 8.0-8.5 Version Breakdown:

1. Vocabulary:

  • Advanced vocabulary: This version uses a wide range of advanced and topic-specific vocabulary. Words like “highly individualized education,” “peer pressure,” “comprehensive and balanced curriculum,” and “negative social influences” show more nuanced use of language.
  • Precise and varied word choice: The vocabulary is both precise and varied. There is little repetition of words or phrases, as the writer effectively paraphrases throughout. For example, “homeschooling” is rephrased as “customized learning environment” and “personalized education.”

2. Sentence structure:

  • Complex and varied sentence structures: The writer uses a range of complex sentences effectively. For example, “While parents may be knowledgeable in certain subjects, they may lack the expertise required to teach a comprehensive and balanced curriculum” is a well-structured complex sentence that enhances fluency.
  • More subtle and varied linking: The use of cohesive devices is more subtle and sophisticated. Phrases like “Despite these advantages,” “Furthermore,” and “In contrast” are used to connect ideas seamlessly.

3. Task Achievement:

  • Thorough development of ideas: The essay provides in-depth analysis and well-rounded arguments. Each point is backed by specific details and examples, such as explaining how children may “miss out on valuable social experiences,” and how “some parents attempt to compensate through extracurricular activities.”
  • Critical evaluation: The essay not only lists the advantages and disadvantages but also evaluates them, offering more critical insight into the topic.

4. Coherence and Cohesion:

  • Seamless transitions: The flow of the essay is natural and smooth, with transitions between ideas that feel effortless. The points are connected logically, and the essay reads as a cohesive whole.
  • Effective referencing: The writer avoids repetition by skillfully using synonyms, pronouns, and ellipsis (leaving out redundant words), ensuring the essay reads fluently.

5. Grammar:

  • Sophisticated grammar control: The writer uses a wide variety of grammatical structures with high accuracy. Complex and compound-complex sentences are used effectively, with little to no grammatical mistakes. For example, sentences like “Although homeschooling can offer a customized learning environment, the disadvantages, particularly in terms of socialization, generally outweigh the benefits” show control over complex structures.
  • Natural use of grammar: The use of grammar is more natural and idiomatic, adding to the essay’s fluency.

Summary of Differences:

  1. Vocabulary:
    • Band 6.0-6.5: Basic vocabulary, limited paraphrasing.
    • Band 7.0-7.5: More varied vocabulary, better paraphrasing.
    • Band 8.0-8.5: Advanced vocabulary, precise word choice.
  2. Sentence structure:
    • Band 6.0-6.5: Simple and compound sentences, basic linking.
    • Band 7.0-7.5: More complex sentence structures, varied linking words.
    • Band 8.0-8.5: Highly complex and varied sentences, subtle linking devices.
  3. Task Achievement:
    • Band 6.0-6.5: General points, fewer examples.
    • Band 7.0-7.5: More balanced arguments with better elaboration.
    • Band 8.0-8.5: In-depth analysis, critical evaluation, detailed examples.
  4. Coherence and Cohesion:
    • Band 6.0-6.5: Basic organization, some repetition of ideas.
    • Band 7.0-7.5: Clear flow with better transitions, improved referencing.
    • Band 8.0-8.5: Seamless transitions, effective referencing, strong cohesion.
  5. Grammar:
    • Band 6.0-6.5: Adequate grammar control with basic structures.
    • Band 7.0-7.5: More ambitious grammar with some complex sentences.
    • Band 8.0-8.5: Sophisticated grammar control, highly complex structures with few or no errors.

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