Bài mẫu IELTS WRITING tháng 10/2024

IELTS WRITING TEST ngày 12/10/2024

Essay (Score 6.0-6.5)

In many countries, laws have been implemented to prevent companies from rejecting job applicants based on their age. This change is intended to reduce discrimination in the hiring process and give all applicants an equal chance of being employed. In my opinion, this is largely a positive development, but it also comes with certain challenges.

On the one hand, making it illegal to reject applicants because of their age promotes fairness and equality in the workplace. Age discrimination can prevent qualified and experienced individuals, especially older workers, from getting jobs simply because of their age. By implementing this law, people of all ages will have an equal opportunity to prove their skills and abilities during the hiring process, which could lead to a more diverse and inclusive workforce. For instance, older individuals often bring a wealth of experience and knowledge that can be extremely valuable to companies.

On the other hand, this law could create difficulties for some companies. In certain industries, specific jobs may require high physical energy or the ability to adapt quickly to new technology. Employers may feel that younger candidates are better suited for such roles, even though they cannot legally reject older applicants. Additionally, some businesses may face challenges in managing a workforce with a wide age range, as younger and older workers may have different expectations and working styles.

Furthermore, while the law is well-intentioned, it may not fully eliminate age discrimination in practice. Companies could find indirect ways to avoid hiring older applicants, such as setting job requirements that are more difficult for older individuals to meet. For example, they may require applicants to have recent experience with the latest technology, which could disadvantage older candidates without openly rejecting them based on age.

In conclusion, while the law preventing companies from rejecting applicants based on age is a positive step toward fairness and equality, it may not be entirely practical in all cases. Businesses may still find ways to favor younger candidates, and certain roles may naturally be more suited to specific age groups. Nonetheless, promoting equal opportunities for all age groups remains an important goal for modern workplaces.

Score Breakdown:

  • Task Achievement (6.0-6.5): The essay addresses the task by discussing both the positive and negative sides of the issue, but the arguments could be further developed with more specific examples. The conclusion is clear but could be more detailed.
  • Coherence and Cohesion (6.0): The structure of the essay is clear, with appropriate paragraphing, but some ideas could be linked more smoothly. Transitions between ideas could be improved.
  • Lexical Resource (6.0-6.5): The vocabulary is adequate and mostly accurate, with some range (e.g., “discrimination,” “workforce,” “diverse”). However, there is room for more variation in word choice to achieve a higher score.
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy (6.0): The essay demonstrates control over basic grammatical structures, but there are occasional awkward sentence constructions. Complex sentences are present but could be used more consistently.

This essay would likely score between 6.0 and 6.5, depending on the examiner’s interpretation of the coherence and grammatical complexity.

Essay (Score 7.0-7.5)

In recent years, several countries have implemented laws to prevent companies from discriminating against job applicants based on their age. While this legislation aims to promote equality and fairness in the hiring process, opinions on its effectiveness vary. In my view, this is a largely positive development, though it is not without challenges.

One of the key benefits of this law is that it promotes inclusivity and prevents unfair treatment of older workers. Ageism is a common form of discrimination that can prevent experienced and capable individuals from securing employment solely because they are perceived to be “too old” for the job. By making it illegal to reject applicants based on their age, companies are encouraged to assess candidates based on their qualifications, skills, and experience rather than their birthdate. For instance, many older workers bring a wealth of experience and leadership qualities to the workplace, which can benefit companies significantly. Removing the barrier of age allows these individuals to continue contributing to the workforce.

Additionally, this law helps to create a more diverse working environment. Age diversity in the workplace can lead to the exchange of different perspectives and ideas, which can ultimately improve productivity and innovation. Younger employees may bring fresh ideas and technological skills, while older workers provide stability, mentorship, and industry knowledge. Encouraging a balance of age groups helps companies leverage the strengths of employees at different stages of their careers.

However, despite its benefits, the law may also present some challenges. In certain industries, there are legitimate concerns about whether age can affect an individual’s ability to perform the required tasks. For example, jobs that require physical strength, such as construction or manual labor, may not be suitable for older individuals due to declining physical fitness. Similarly, younger workers might be seen as better suited for roles that demand adaptability and fast learning in rapidly changing industries like technology. In such cases, companies may feel constrained by the legal obligation to avoid age-based rejections, even when age could be a relevant factor.

Moreover, while this law is intended to prevent age discrimination, it may not eliminate age bias completely. Companies could find indirect ways to favor younger applicants, such as emphasizing technological skills or recent experience, which may inherently disadvantage older candidates. Thus, while the law is a positive step, it may not fully address the deeper cultural biases that exist within hiring practices.

In conclusion, making it illegal to reject job applicants based on their age is a positive step towards promoting fairness and diversity in the workplace. However, the effectiveness of this law depends on its implementation and the willingness of companies to embrace the benefits of a multi-generational workforce. Although there are some challenges, such as the relevance of age in certain industries, the overall impact of this law is likely to be beneficial in creating more equal employment opportunities.

Score Breakdown:

  • Task Achievement (7.5): The essay fully addresses the question and provides a clear position, supported by relevant arguments. Both the positive and negative aspects of the law are explored in depth, with specific examples.
  • Coherence and Cohesion (7.5): The essay is well-organized, with a clear structure and logical flow between paragraphs. Transitions between ideas are smooth and natural, making the argument easy to follow.
  • Lexical Resource (7.0): The essay demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary, with precise and varied word choices (e.g., “ageism,” “inclusivity,” “age bias”). However, some phrases could be more sophisticated for a higher score.
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy (7.5): The grammar is generally accurate, with a mix of complex and simple sentence structures. There are very few noticeable errors, and the use of grammatical structures such as conditionals and passive voice is appropriate and effective.

This essay would likely score between 7.0 and 7.5, depending on the examiner’s assessment of lexical precision and grammatical complexity.

Essay (Score 8.0-8.5)

In an increasingly competitive global job market, several countries have introduced laws that prohibit companies from rejecting job applicants based on their age. This legislation seeks to ensure equality in the hiring process and provide opportunities for individuals regardless of their stage in life. In my opinion, this is a highly positive development that addresses both ethical and practical concerns, although it may also present certain challenges.

First and foremost, making age-based discrimination illegal promotes fairness and social justice. Historically, older job seekers have faced significant barriers in employment, as many companies tend to favor younger candidates, often based on unfounded stereotypes about productivity and adaptability. By preventing companies from rejecting applicants solely due to their age, these laws help to level the playing field. This allows individuals to be assessed on their merits, experience, and skills, rather than on assumptions tied to their age. For example, an older applicant with decades of experience in a particular industry may bring valuable insights that a younger candidate may not yet have developed. Such diversity in experience is particularly beneficial in roles requiring leadership, strategic thinking, or mentorship.

Moreover, the law fosters a more inclusive and diverse workforce, which can lead to enhanced creativity and productivity. A multi-generational workplace allows for the blending of perspectives from different age groups, thereby creating an environment where innovative ideas can flourish. Younger employees tend to bring new technological skills and fresh approaches, while older workers contribute seasoned judgment and long-term vision. Studies have shown that companies with diverse workforces are better able to solve complex problems and adapt to changing markets. In this way, preventing age discrimination not only benefits individuals but also strengthens organizations as a whole.

However, while this legislation is undoubtedly positive, it is not without challenges. Some industries have roles where age may legitimately impact an individual’s ability to perform certain tasks. For instance, physically demanding jobs in sectors such as construction or agriculture may require strength and stamina that naturally decline with age. Similarly, certain technology-based roles may demand rapid adaptability to new software or programming languages, where younger candidates are often perceived as having an advantage. In such cases, companies might feel constrained by the law, unable to make practical hiring decisions based on specific job requirements. Nevertheless, this challenge can be mitigated by ensuring that recruitment processes are based on a thorough assessment of individual capabilities, rather than age-related assumptions.

Furthermore, while these laws are effective in reducing overt age discrimination, they may not eliminate it entirely. Companies might find indirect ways to favor younger candidates, such as using recruitment criteria that disproportionately benefit younger people, like recent educational achievements or proficiency in the latest technologies. This points to a broader issue of unconscious bias that legislation alone cannot fully address. Therefore, while the law is a crucial first step, it needs to be supported by broader efforts to raise awareness of age-related biases and promote inclusive hiring practices.

In conclusion, the introduction of laws that prohibit age-based discrimination in hiring is a positive development that promotes fairness, diversity, and economic inclusion. Although there may be challenges in specific industries, the overall impact of such legislation is beneficial both for individuals and for organizations. Moving forward, it is important to continue addressing not only legal barriers but also the underlying biases that can affect recruitment decisions.

Score Breakdown:

  • Task Achievement (8.5): The essay fully addresses the prompt with a clear position and well-supported arguments. The response is nuanced, considering both the positive aspects and the challenges of the legislation.
  • Coherence and Cohesion (8.5): The essay is well-organized and flows logically, with smooth transitions between ideas. Paragraphing is appropriate, and the structure allows for a clear progression of thought, making the argument easy to follow.
  • Lexical Resource (8.5): A wide range of vocabulary is used accurately and effectively. Phrases like “level the playing field,” “seasoned judgment,” and “unconscious bias” demonstrate strong lexical control and precision. The essay showcases a variety of collocations and idiomatic expressions.
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy (8.5): The essay contains a wide range of complex sentence structures, including conditionals and relative clauses. The grammar is accurate throughout, with no noticeable errors. There is excellent control over both simple and complex structures, enhancing the clarity and sophistication of the argument.

This essay would likely score between 8.0 and 8.5, depending on the examiner’s assessment of grammatical range, lexical variety, and the depth of the analysis.

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